The moral of the tail

We’re all just dogs chasing ours tails. We keep on racing round and reaching out, but we never get any closer to catching anything. Sometimes we forget about those tails of ours—we get distracted by things we can actually reach, like our buttholes, or other dogs’ buttholes. And all the while our tails are wagging away with enjoyment, performing all the appropriate dog-tail functions, like expressing pleasure and providing counterbalance while running and leaping through meadows (but still always sitting just out of reach). Once we’re done with all the buttholes, and all the running and the leaping through all the meadows, we’re shocked to rediscover those tails of ours wagging all casually, just over our shoulders, teasing us with their irresistible, elusive tailness. And we are back into it; racing and reaching, and snapping and growling with excitement. The tail chasing never really stops… we just keep finding new kinds of tails to chase… always wanting things we can’t have, always working towards new goals… sometimes when we do manage to catch one of these imaginary tails, we feel an immense sense of disappointment… that tail was far too easy to catch… maybe it wasn’t a tail at all! Probably just another butthole… and Dog knows how many buttholes I’ve had now… hardly worth the effort anymore, to be honest… and then, BAM! There’s that tail again, wagging itself all over the place…

… I guess the moral of the tail is to not let it wag you.

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