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What was the sound made
– between the pleading
the whispered snarls
the cacophony of doors slammed shut –
when you
informed me it was over
and in denial
I began to enter
that bed we’d shared since high school?
When you started shaking and demanding
I leave?
The dawning realisation some seething body
coiled in shadow, fists clenched
orchestrated that moment?

What is the frequency of acid
saturating veins?
That cold heat
filling bodies with dread
with rage
evacuating all rational thought?

What was the relentless tone emitted
– between the chewing of food
the hellos and thank yous
those hollow, gasping nights
resuscitating memories of us –
for the next
two
three
four…
twenty
years
it took
to get used to the idea
that our bed wasn’t empty
when I wasn’t in it?

What was that background noise
interfering with all attempts at life?
That static deafening me to the present?
Scrambling all signals?
Ruining love affairs?

‘Ache’
is close enough
to that sound
It seems about right

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